The boys and I had a wonderful summer day. Part lazy and part fun. A perfect summer mix. A few years ago I would have fallen fast asleep by now. No worries. Just a lovely end to a lovely day. Tonight I am exhausted and yet I sit awake thinking about things I wish I didn't know.
Tonight driving home my daughter asks me how something can be here one moment and gone the next. She wants to know how in just an instant someone can be gone forever from this world. I tell her I struggle with those questions everyday.
She and I can still so vividly see Sterling the night before. He was playing and smiling and waved bye bye to his sister as she left. In an instant he was gone. She and I both struggle with that. In an instant everything can change so drastically. How do we live each day fully knowing in an instant it can be over?
Sterling is an amazing 13 month old who stopped breathing during his nap as a result of multiple congenital heart defects that had gone undiagnosed. Life as I knew it was over. The pain excrutiating. I often felt like I had died that day too. Slowly I began to see the gifts of Sterling. Follow me as my boys and I find new purpose in our lives. Watch as Sterling continues to do amazing things through each one of us. Always and Forever sweet boy.
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